A New Year

2010. I wanted change just like everyone else in the world. A year to start new and fresh. I wanted to better myself from this situation that i was in. I love the girl but the amount of sadness that comes with this affair is getting to heavy to maintain. I tell Kat around the beginning of January that if she doesn't leave Steve, I'm going to leave and continue on with my pursuit of happiness. With or without her. She gives me a date for me to wait for her to do this. Two months and we will be together finally. She wants to end things with Steve with her having the upper hand. She is scared that he will sabotage us if she left on a bad note. Two months, whats that to wait after what I've already been through. No problem lets do this. March creeps in like a terminal patient counting down the days left in there life. It comes and goes like any old day... She had failed to do what she swore to do. Like that meant anything to her. We fight, we split up, we kiss and make up. This is the cycle i wind-up in for the next two months. Come May we are hardly seeing each other. At this point I tell myself that I'm done for good. Fuck this girl. The cold hollow space in my chest was slowly being filled with an angry fire.. I looked at how painfully low I put myself for this girl that never gave as much of an effort as I did. I was angry and enraged. I told myself I had to move on. I had to, for my well being for my sanity!